A fallacy is a mistaken belief, based on an invalid argument. We are all guilty of having these false beliefs, but they can really damage our self-esteem and relationships with others. Here are some fallacies that you should avoid.
The Fallacy of Perfection
We as people think we need to be perfect. We need to have the perfect body, perfect skin, perfect teeth, and perfect hair. However, we know that this is impossible. Everyone’s idea of perfection is different, and there’s no such thing as a perfect person. This can also be a problem when it comes to communication. As communicators, we have unrealistic expectations of perfection. The truth is, you will make mistakes in your relationship. You will let your emotions get to you, or you will say the wrong thing to your partner. We are not perfect communicators, and that is okay. Don’t put yourself down if you have a conversation that doesn’t go how you planned. Learn from your mistakes so you can improve your relationship and communication for the next time you talk to them.
The Fallacy of Approval
Of course, you want people to like you. However, the fallacy of approval can be dangerous for your self-esteem and self-concept if you have unrealistic expectations. Not everyone you meet is going to love you, and that is okay too. Do not change who you are to please others. Your worth as a human being is not measured by how many people like you. Be kind to others, be your genuine self, and don’t worry too much about if you have someone’s approval.
The Fallacy of Should
We’ve all said to ourselves, “I should have known this” or “I should have done that better.” Having unrealistic expectations to what should have happened is dangerous because it leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction with yourself and others. If you regret an argument with your spouse, you may tell yourself, “I should have known what to say.” However, it’s important to stay in the present. Focusing on what we should have done in the past keeps us from focusing on what we can do now. If you made a mistake and said the wrong thing to your partner, you now know how to make a change and learn from your experience. The truth is, you shouldn’t know how to solve everything, so don’t beat yourself up over it.
We’ll pick up here next week with four more fallacies in Part 2.